Hanging Up Your Spurs

Taking it easy or just simply not doing so much any more is often an attractive option to people who have been previously active. However this attitude isn’t necessarily the best attitude when it comes to living a long and fruitful life. It has been recognised that the intention to do things is as good as doing things. The moment one stops intending to be active or being actively active, there can be a decline in general health.

Change isn’t something that many people handle terribly well. Change is something that often just happens to people because it happens, not because they planned for it. However getting older is inevitable therefore it is something that can be planned for with some discreet and strategic planning that can take into account the social mental and physical well being of a person as well as the financial.

Anticipating the death of a life partner, be it husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend can be something we just do not wish to do. However it might be seen as a healthy anticipation to be able to continue life as normally as possible should another person suddenly not be with you. Consequently people with their own hobbies and activities, independent of their partner, can actually find it easier to cope in times of bereavement. Naturally it takes awhile for the human psyche to adapt to tragedy, but having something which can be continued which isn’t too different to what went before could be seen as a healthy option.

This is where the striking up of friendships, which in a non-romantic capacity are very valuable in life, simply because they do not put the personal pressure on to people required to buy a romantic relationship.

It is a fact that we usually leave it to chance who ends up being our friends as, most commonly we simply acquire them because we have something in common with them, rather than being precise and selective as to what qualities they possess. Human nature is such that we look for something in common that we have and this is often the only real binding force that keeps our friendships.

When we went to school our friends would generally people we went to school with of a similar age. If we worked, friends were generally people that we worked with of a similar status. If we join clubs and societies, friends often are drawn from people who attended the same clubs and societies, but, again, with whom we might feel we have some things in common, although the spread of age and status can be diverse.

This begs the question that if we give something up such as work or membership, are we risking giving up friendships? In other words, are our relationships and dependent upon our situation?

The loss of friends otherwise is often either through falling out, or frankly, death. It is clear, on reflection, that we do not necessarily put as much thought into choosing our friends as we do our more intimate relationships. This is ironic because these are just as important in many cases.

It is perhaps important to define, for each of us, what the difference is between the various relationships we strike up. It can be a simple as recognising the difference between friends and acquaintances. Of course, both of these can be split into casual, formal and even intimate categories. There are signs that perhaps people are doing this in later life. The popularity of over-60s dating agencies has multiplied and opportunities for friendship circles and clubs are also becoming more common.